So my thought for tonight.... I wonder if there is someone for me. And if he is out there have i meet him yet? Did i scare him off with my honesty?

Susie Homemaker

I was on the phone today with a friend while I was at the grocery store and I was talking about what we were going to have for dinner tonight. Which by the way is frozen chicken nuggets and french fries. Then we got to talking about how I have invited him over for dinner but never showed so I stopped inviting. He got really serious and said "I know. I know. And I know that I have an open invite to your house at anytime I just have to show up." And I told him that was right it might only being frozen dinners that night but he can always show up when he wanted to.

When I got home and was unpacking the food I looked around the house. The first thought that came into my mind was "okay the house is clean. If he just showed up tonight it is okay. But there is NO telling what tomorrow night will look like." I tried to have the spotless house ..... That lasted for a whole 5 minutes. With 3 kids and me working two jobs there is no way the house is EVER going to be spotless (unless I have a live in maid).

I know I am not Susie homemaker either. Our dinners are usually either frozen or come from a box. Now do not get me wrong I LOVE to cook! It is just we do not have the time for me to make a 3 course meal every night. And with 3 kids it is hard to find something that everyone is going to like. So we usually need up eating the same thing over and over again.

But what I do know is that my kids are healthy and happy. Oh and if anyone is reading this and IS a Susie homemaker can you please tell me how you do it???? Or if someone wants to come over and clean my house and make us dinner everyone night for free go ahead email me :)

You wanna know the worest thing about being single? Not having someone to cuddle with at the end of the night..... Just a random thought.

I know i am tired when... One. I crawl under the blankets and could give a rats ass if i am lonely tonight or not. Two. I just put on the first thing i find for jps and hope it is mine and not one of the kids. And Three. I left my mountain dew in the over room and i could care less. Nighty night.

hey kids can I date?

My soon to be ex-husband left me 8 months ago. Sometimes it has been lonely but mostly I have managed.

So today I sat down with my son and asked him what he thought of me dating again. He looked me in the eyes and said... "NO". Well that shocked me. When I asked him why he said that he said he did not want me to date because he is afraid that the guy will want us to move in with him and my son did not want to move. Even after explaining that we would not be moving even IF I started dating seriously. And the only time we would move is if I married the guy. And I would have to date for years before I married again. EVEN after all of that my son still does not want me to date.

I love my kids so much. They are my world. But sometimes I want more. I want to be loved again. I want to have someone that wakes up and calls me beautiful and means it. I want a guy to look at me and say I Love You just because he wanted to say it. Not because it is habit or he wants sex. But as I looked at my son and saw his face when he said "NO" I knew that it will be a long time before I enter the dating scene. Which means it is going to be a really long time before I find my Mr. Right.

So to all the couples out there that are reading this *raises my wine glass* here is a wish to you for all the happiness. And to all the single people out there *raising my wine glass* I hope you find your happiness. Everyone deserves to wake up with a "I love you".

Always the friend

Now don't get me wrong.... I LOVE my friends!  They are the best group of people a gal can have.  We are all different and I think that is what makes us all click.  But when I think about us as a group it is mostly couples.  There are very few of us who are single.  And when I look at the ones that are single I wonder sometimes if it would work if I ever dated one of them. 

I have one in particular that I put a lot of thought into this question.  He has been my friend for over 20 years so why not right?  But as a single mom I can't just put myself out there to date just any body.  Even if I am not looking for a my next soul mate, I have to watch who I bring into my kids lives.  Now don't get me wrong this guy is great... okay good. But he is not someone I see taking my son to a baseball practice and staying to help out.  (Actually I think my kids scare him).  

I think what made me start looking at him in a different way was when Ally got sick.  He called or texted EVERY day for 2 weeks to see how she was.  Ally's own dad called twice in 2 weeks.  And at that moment I wondered if there could be something more.  But when I made myself sit down and think about it... all we will be is friends.

But he is my friend and I thank God every day that he managed to come back into my life (we lost contact for 13 years).  Now we found each other again and I am working on repair the damage I did by not speaking to him while I was married.  And slowly he is letting me in his life and telling me bits and pieces of what I missed.  And now that he is back I hope I am able to keep him in my life as my friend for the next 20 plus years.  No matter who either one of us dates or marries. 

Speedy

I have this guy at work that calls me Speedy because I walk so fast all the time.  One day I was walking through the shop and all of a sudden I stopped.  I had 3 guys coming jogging over and asking what was wrong!!  I looked at them all and said " oh nothing!  I just remembered I have to  pee".  Nobody comes over and asks me what is wrong any more when I stop walking in the shop ;)